Where do I begin? It is these same two culprits, “crashing my life fibromyalgia, and inflicting pain always Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).” I did have a little hope that February 2021 would bring less pain, stress, lethargy, fibro-fog, dizziness, nausea, and sensitivity to touch, weather, light and hearing but to no avail all I am getting is so much despair.
“Crashing my life fibromyalgia and inflicting pain always CRPS” are both indelible. They will not let up. Living each day knowing the intense pain levels that I experience is most often beyond explaining. These ailments are daunting in every way imaginable. They exhaust me.
Can I have just one minute of peace from you bullies. You push, prod, pull, and pick me up and drop me like holding a “hot” potato in the palm of my hand. What did I do to deserve you two bullies to direct your attention towards me and crash my life and inflict pain constantly?
I am specifically speaking about February 2021 as this is here and now. You both are difficult to deal with but I tell myself to find my happy place. This is when I take two seconds to visualize my loved ones who make me happy. Here you come again to distract me with your craziness.
You both cause way too much hysteria within me. I ask myself to inquire with my pain management doctor where do you bullies come from and why did you pick me. I discovered that only basic information is known about you, and research, knowledge and clinical trials are ongoing. No one knows why you ailments chose me or the other millions of people to make miserable. What medical specialists do know is that you both are severely debilitating to some people.
In the first week, you both continued your abuse. I tried to ignore you over and over again. I decided that I would keep my mind distracted from the madness that you both force upon me. So I started writing my short-term goals for the month. These include writing and sending out get well messages to several friends recovering from Covid-19, reading stimulating material, calling loved ones, and even writing down things that may help me feel better even if for only two seconds as I mentioned above.
In the second week, I had a doctor’s appointment. Here is where I shared how you bullies try to destroy me. Thankfully my doctor and his staff have empathy and comforted me any way they could. They see me in my weakest moments due to the effects of you “crashing my life fibromyalgia and inflicting pain always CRPS.” They tell me that they are doing their best and for me to adhere to their treatment plan. If I am doing what they recommend then that is all that we can do together. “It is what it is.”
In week three, I had several birthdays to celebrate. You know the celebration was limited and only included a phone call, text message or Facebook post. Both of you bullies tried to distract with bombarding me with every symptom that you encompass. “Crashing my life fibromyalgia, and inflicting pain always CRPS” let me say that you did not stop me. I did what I needed to do to put a smile on the faces of those that had birthdays. It made me feel like I accomplished something and you know what, I did! This was something else that I checked off of my list of “To Do’s.” A few minutes of my time consumed in pain that I took back from “crashing my life fibromyalgia, and inflicting pain always CRPS.”
Here we are in the last week of February and I have decided that no matter what you bullies throw my way that I will not give up. At times I may look like I am all right but looks are deceiving. I do not feel like I look more often than not. I will not let you bullies beat me. “Crashing my life fibromyalgia and inflicting pain always CRPS,” I will cherish ever second, minute and hour when I have less symptoms and fill them with love and motivation. No matter what, I will keep going. Come one and come all and let us take back our lives together.
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Tesa The Motivator